Some mornings unravel just before you even walk out the door.
Everything was fine with my four-year-old before preschool, and then – right as we were about to leave – she had a complete meltdown over something (to me, anyway) that was tiny and irrational. And instead of meeting her with kindness and patience, I snapped into argumentative mode because we were running late.
Stuff my own mother used to do to me, and that I vowed that I wouldn’t repeat. I got angry with myself. Because that’s not the mum I want to be.
I left the house carrying that mix of guilt, frustration, and the sense that I was stretched too thin. And underneath all of it was a question that’s been circling my mind for a while:
What’s the point of all this?
What’s the point of trying to build an intuitive practice when progress feels slow and mostly invisible?
What’s the point of applying for day job roles when I’m still figuring out what kind of work truly fits this phase of my life?
What’s the point of trying to hold ambition, motherhood and family at the same time – and feeling like I’m not fully succeeding at any of it?
It was one of those days where everything feels slightly off-centre. The In-Between at its most uncomfortable.
A couple of hours later, I saw a post in an Evidential Mediumship group on Facebook. Someone in Sweden needed a sitter for a practice reading. I don’t normally have the time, but today I said yes without overthinking too much.
He gave me a reading first. I couldn’t give him a lot of validation, but some of the messages I could take. I naturally found myself offering him pointers and encouragement. It felt good to help as I know what it’s like to be learning.
Then I felt that I had a message for him.
I wasn’t expecting anything. I’d even told myself that if nothing came through, that was completely fine. There were no expectations or anybody watching.
But something did come through.
A young woman stepped forward – someone he had known and lost years earlier. Her personality arrived first. It felt expansive. I picked up that she passed away too young. I felt the heaviness she carried understood that the decisions she made could not have been prevented. She had a clear message:
“Remember me for who I was, not only for how I left.”
He confirmed that people still write on her Facebook page.
That she made a lasting impact.
That she’s still felt by those who miss her.
And in that moment something clicked.
I had spent the whole morning asking the universe, What’s the point?
And here I was – delivering a message to a stranger about someone that mattered – through a gift I often doubt.
I don’t advertise mediumship as part of North Star Sessions.
I’m not consciously building it into my offerings.
To be honest, I don’t even talk about it too much to my family or friends.
But moments like this remind me that my intuition is strong, even when I question it.
But even with good intuition, spirit is even louder.
Sometimes these experiences come through not because I’m actively searching for them. They come through because I ask and then I become still enough to listen.
It felt like a timely nudge from the In-Between.
A reminder that the work I’m doing does matter, even if the pace is slower than I’d like.
A reminder that I’m allowed to question my career direction without losing my confidence in what I can do.
A reminder that ambition and motherhood can coexist, even on the mornings they collide.
And maybe most clearly of all:
Sometimes you don’t choose these moments. They choose you.
It eased something in me…
And that was enough for today.
Filed from the In-Between,
Katy
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